I was kicked out my mom's house at the beginning of November; because she believes that it is my ex's responsibility for our son to see his side of the family and I believe that as his mother it is my responsibility as well. To say nicely, I told her it's that attitude that caused my brother and I not to know who our family was. My parent's family are pretty much in the same city and the little times we went to visit her side, we couldn't go across the tracks to see my dad's side! Crazy I know. I feel bad having to be re-introduced to my family every time I see them. Not knowing what it's like to spend the holidays with family. Worst of all, speaking to my grandmother and she had no idea who I was. That is a painful heartache I will NEVER forget! I want my son to know who his family is regardless of where his dad is. When it boils down to it, they are his blood relatives. She wanted me out the house, so I packed our things and went to dad's. After all "Stand for something or fall for nothing".
I got things going on track where my dad lives. I never really got a chance to know who my dad is. My parents divorced when I was 7. Apparently, my mom didn't let us talk to him or visit like we should have. Long story short, my brother and I grew up thinking that our dad didn't want to be there for us. As I get older I realize that our parents took their resentment out on us. It shouldn't be that way. Well, my step mother didn't want me coming in the first place. She feels that Americans are lazy and they are too easy on their children. She's Russian and I have no idea how they are raised. I don't want to be ignorant about it, but I've seen the movie Salt several times and I have formulated my own ridiculous idea lol. After a month, they sent me back to my mom's. I understand I am 24 and should've been working and blah blah blah, but you will never understand unless you've been in my shoes.
I had a very major surgery back in March 2012. It is now December and I'm just now getting close to fully healing. I was diagnosed with stage 3 Hidradenitis in 2006. It is a very rare, yet common disease that effects your sweat glands. I've had at least 7 major surgeries in all my personal areas.. and I'm still sexy! This last surgery was in my very private area. Luckily, I am cured of the disease and I have the scars to prove it. I haven't worked in over a year because I had a son November 2011 and I take care of him. Recovering from surgery kept me from doing a lot of things, like getting out the house! My mom kept me trapped in the house like Godzilla after it rampaged through New York. I was able to go to doctor's appointments and Wal Mart when asked. Talk about your Cabin Fever! I just prayed. Prayed, prayed, and prayed. While I was at my dad's I was able to drive and get a job. My mom realized that I am capable of picking my life back up. I got to spend a month with my dad which is more time than I've spent with him throughout these 17 years. Even though my son and I have had to move a few times, I'm ok. This battle isn't mine.
My situation shed light on others around me. The strength I have to keep my head held high and the peace I need to keep moving forward gives the ones around me strength to do the same. I figured I'd write a little blog to help those who are near and far. You never know what someone is going through, but I know a smile and reassurance will go a long way. Sometimes God puts us in situations to test our faith. He will never put more on us than we can bear!
God Bless!
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